{"id":129,"date":"2010-08-05T05:29:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-05T05:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nosmallthing.net\/main\/?p=129"},"modified":"2021-12-30T23:19:52","modified_gmt":"2021-12-30T23:19:52","slug":"good-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nosmallthing.net\/main\/good-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Good Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Since I started writing down my mindful meditations, I have tried to pay extra keen attention to things that affect me, things that change my mood or outlook, or simply things I\u2019m grateful for. Keeping an eye out for these kinds of things has brought up memories of my father and some paradoxical advice he tried to impart.<\/p>\n

My father died when he was 62. I was in my mid-twenties and going through a divorce. He was not around much when I was growing up as he worked very long hours, but his presence was oh so constant. We didn\u2019t go to many ballgames together or to the park. He didn\u2019t teach me how to drive or mentor me in some important life skills, but I knew he loved me very much.<\/p>\n

Starting when I was about thirteen, he used to pull me under his arm and repeat an odd phrase. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about the little things. It\u2019s the big things that are important.\u201d Then he\u2019d add, as if confiding something more profound to me, \u201cDon\u2019t worry about the big things<\/strong>. It\u2019s the little things <\/strong>that are important.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, what was he trying to tell me? What was I supposed to be wary of, I wondered, the BIG things or the LITTLE things? Was he simply telling me, \u201cDon\u2019t worry\u201d? What was I supposed to be getting out of this advice?<\/p>\n

In a not atypical teenage way, I suppose, I\u2019d dismiss his thought. Must be on drugs<\/em>, I\u2019d say to myself. This had become my catchall phrase whenever someone spoke or acted in ways I couldn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

Throughout my life, I\u2019ve had an uncomfortable reaction to getting advice I didn\u2019t know what to do with. My mother, for instance, who is now 88, likes to dispense recommendations automatically like a two a day standing order for Advil. Her directives often feel like criticisms and could range in topic from how I should style my hair to what route I should take driving her on errands. Generally, I remember that the unsolicited opinions or advice she gives are more about her than about me. But still, I\u2019ll bristle when my mother, or a friend, or co-worker, or coach for that matter, feels compelled to give advice that has little to do with who I am and what I value.<\/p>\n

Advice can often seem contradictory, hard to follow, or not true for me and my life.<\/p>\n

Then I remember to look beyond the words and focus on the vibration of someone\u2019s counsel. I think about my father\u2019s love floating on top of his paradox, and I\u2019m okay with whatever sentiment is expressed.<\/p>\n

Accepting the gift <\/em>of someone\u2019s advice without feeling compelled to take it is no small thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since I started writing down my mindful meditations, I have tried to pay extra keen…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7377,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-favorite-posts","grateful-dozen-people-who-touch-me"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGood Advice – No Small Thing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nosmallthing.net\/main\/good-advice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" 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