{"id":9283,"date":"2025-01-06T15:45:38","date_gmt":"2025-01-06T15:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nosmallthing.net\/main\/?p=9283"},"modified":"2025-11-11T09:13:25","modified_gmt":"2025-11-11T09:13:25","slug":"change-is-hard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nosmallthing.net\/main\/change-is-hard\/","title":{"rendered":"Change is Hard"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"I never knew such a special day of observance existed until I watched a commercial on TV last week. I don\u2019t even remember the product or service the ad was pitching.<\/p>\n

But Quitters Day<\/strong> is actually a thing. (Must be. I saw it on Google.)<\/p>\n

The second Friday of January has been designated as Quitters Day because it has been determined that most people who developed resolutions for the new year have abandoned them by this date. (This year, Quitters Day is January 10th<\/sup>.)<\/p>\n

Whether a person develops resolutions, intentions, or a short list of dreams and goals with the help of a highly paid life coach or in a drunken stupor on New Year\u2019s Eve, we\u2019ve been indoctrinated into thinking that a life without goals and measurements is pretty much worthless.<\/p>\n

Many people quickly embrace new goal-setting systems or the latest best-selling author\u2019s podcast interview condensed advice for making strategies for attainment work this time when they have failed in the past only to be disappointed.<\/p>\n

No doubt about it. Change is hard.<\/p>\n

I had a weird experience of this early in December.<\/p>\n

I woke up one morning with a sore back and a stiff neck. Not unreasonably, I concluded that my side of the bed had gotten too soft. I sleep on the side of my king-sized, low tech example of sleep technology near the window and reading lamp. My dog, all twenty-one pounds of her, sleeps on the other side.<\/p>\n

The imprints of our respective bodies must be firmly imprinted into the coils.<\/p>\n

As I don\u2019t have adequate size or upper body strength to rotate the mattress myself, my solution was to simply sleep on the other, less utilized, side of the bed. This, of course, \u00a0confused my dog as it confused me. My body didn\u2019t want to fall asleep from this new\u00a0 position. My pup gravitated towards the middle, it being almost familiar territory. Of course, it defeats the purpose of having a big bed if you have to crowd into a fraction of it.<\/p>\n

Change is hard.<\/p>\n

It seems like the people in your circles, not necessarily intending to disempower or harm you, will pull you back into patterns they\u2019re more comfortable with.<\/p>\n

Becoming happier is not simply about reaching goals. It\u2019s not just about writing down what you want or visualizing how great you\u2019ll feel once you reach a goal. It\u2019s not only an exercise in imagination like finetuning wardrobe details when you live a day as Emily of Emily in Paris.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Clarifying goals and dreams can be powerful. Self-understanding always is, but success is not instantaneous. Writing resolutions or having a goal buddy is not like taking Ozempic or Mounjaro for the soul. We can\u2019t expect things to turn around immediately.<\/p>\n

Maybe getting what we want doesn\u2019t serve any greater purpose and will not be supported\u00a0 in getting realized outside of our own efforts. Maybe what we think are important goals \u2014 driving a certain kind of car, living in a certain neighborhood, having a particular career \u2014 are actually the dreams of parents or friends. Maybe we think we want the lives of people we admire.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure why, but I felt compelled to write down a handful of actions aligned with my values and yearnings. Probably reflective of my age, my declarations revolved around regular doses of music and feelings of connection.<\/p>\n

\u201cCalling instead of texting fifty percent of the time\u201d and doing more things \u201coutside of my comfort zone\u201d came up.<\/p>\n

I also told myself to look at my experiences and record things I wanted to pay attention to, contemplating what my \u201cnotices\u201d might mean.\u00a0The concept of building self-trust seemed lacking until I added, \u201cAppreciate\u00a0incremental progress.\u201d<\/p>\n

Change might be hard, especially changing from the inside out, but reminding yourself that the purpose of your life is to experience more joy just takes continual awareness and adjustments.<\/p>\n

If we can ask ourselves does this thing I\u2019m about to do (or invest in or re-commit to) make me happier or less happy and adapt accordingly, we get into a great habit \u2014 and we don\u2019t need to look at a calendar.<\/p>\n

Acknowledging incremental progress is no small thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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