I recently attended Celebrate Your Life, a public expo featuring the world’s leading speakers on new thought. I smiled through talks by Michael Beckwith, Sonia Choquette and Gregg Braden as they encouraged me to ask myself good questions, exercise heart-felt choices in all range of decisions, and to enjoy my fullest expression. Another speaker, Arielle Ford, gave a talk on attracting your soul mate.

I have heard these kinds of talks before. I’d usually laugh inwardly when I’d see a bevy of women circling the author’s table at Borders, post-lecture, eager to pick up the latest signed copy of expert advice on finding Mr. Right. I have long known about dream boards (collages) and games to play with your subconscious mind, supposedly to set the laws of attraction into motion.

All fine and good, I’d think, but…such an experience can’t happen for me.

I decided to release my history and disarm my doubt and play with this anyway. Truth is, I would like a special companion to spend my life with.

So, I cleaned out space in my closet and emptied a couple drawers. I bought a night table from a resale shop, which I will re-finish and put on the “other” side of my bed. I collected pictures from Google “Images” to represent things I would like to do with my partner, like cook, go to ballgames and jazz clubs, host parties. And I contemplated what qualities I would want in my partner. I made my list. Funny, kind, healthy and fit, passionate about his work and other pursuits, really listens to me…I filled up two college-ruled lined pages of notebook paper. (Must be some guy, huh?) Then I got very quiet and asked myself, I asked God if I needed to add anything to my list. I wrote:

My feelings of love grow stronger every day. I am beautiful, desirable, one-of-a-kind, imminently lovable and a pleasure to be with.

Allowing myself to declare wanting something, not stopping myself because I’m afraid of being greedy, disappointed or somehow not asking for the right things in the right way – this was a big deal. And after making out my list, listening to this declaration surfacing from God knows where — such an addendum is no small thing.