“It was great, but too long. I don’t know why they had to stretch things out over three days.”

In the days following our visit to New Haven to participate in commencement festivities for John’s son Paul and Yale’s class of 2013, he must have been asked about his experience a dozen times. I think I knew the wording of his response by heart.

True enough, it took over 48 hours for the official ceremonies and receptions, family reunions and lesser traditions attached to the event to take place. Many printed programs were required. But I could not imagine, nor would I have wanted things to happen differently, and I didn’t even have a son or daughter getting a degree.

On Saturday afternoon, as soon as we were able to stash our rental car, we each grabbed a small bottle of water and filed into a balcony row at Woolsey Hall for the baccalaureate ceremony. It had already started. There, a full choir sang hallelujah type hymns and we heard addresses by the dean of Yale College and by college president Richard Levin who, planning to retire from his post after the 2013 class graduated, sounded like he was preparing for a new career in politics.  Baccalaureate ceremonies were followed by lots of photo-taking on the old campus and the amazing dance of family members finding each other despite no agreed on meeting arrangements. (Someone should study how this works; how people can find their tribe among 3000 other people looking for theirs.)

On Sunday afternoon, we seated ourselves in garden party suitable white folding chairs that had been set up in the courtyard of the old campus for Class Day festivities, and we prayed that the rain would hold off until the main speaker concluded.  Rain during graduation, we learned later from a bartender on Chapel Street, was another tradition of the occasion.

Cory Booker, the young mayor of Newark, Obama-esque in his oratory style, did not disappoint. A Yale Law School graduate, he spoke appropriately of the importance of vision, presence and service, paying homage repeatedly to his family’s patriarchs and matriarchs and to his personal mentors.

I delighted in another Class Day tradition where the new graduates wore personally designed hats to go with their somber black academic robes.  We saw Paul Revere style tri-corner hats along with laurel wreaths along with an aluminum foil fashioned Hershey Kiss topper along with a cap that featured a model of a molecule; no doubt, in deference to a chosen field of study.

The actual procession of graduates and conferring of degrees took place on Monday.

In between scheduled events, we witnessed other rituals that were just as important as those signaled by invocations and marching. We watched the Class of 2013 introduce friends to parents and parents to friends, seemingly bracing themselves to be embarrassed by each other’s perfunctory “I’ve heard so much about you” reactions.

Paul, who enjoyed singing in one of Yale’s famous a capella groups invited us to join some of his buds and their parents at an Indian restaurant for a last supper of sorts. There, six boys rocked the small storefront with their harmonies (amazingly after hearty servings of garlic naan and saag paneer).

And I started thinking about the words graduation and commencement; two words for basically the same occasion, two ceremonies to celebrate the same stage in life. I guess I like the idea of commencement better. I must like to think about beginnings as opposed to endings although celebrating your accomplishments is an integral part of honoring yourself and imagining possibilities.

In one of his plays, Tom Stoppard wrote, “Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.”

Commencement ceremonies mark the end of an academic challenge and the beginning period of applying knowledge. Sunrises mark the end of the night and beginning of the day. Purchasing transactions mark the end of shopping and the beginning of ownership.

So many moments in life mark endings and beginnings. So rarely do we give ourselves time to pause and reflect over what those endings and beginnings may mean to us personally. So seldom can we see that we are experiencing something important with so many others at the same time.

Pausing to reflect on commencement, or, if you prefer, on graduation ceremonies, is no small thing.