A couple weeks ago, a friend emailed me a link on a talk given by David Brooks, best-selling author and political and cultural commentator. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDdssTQG6Vc)

My friend and I have had discussions on the rise of loneliness and the growing appeal of the type of storytelling event that we both attend regularly at a neighborhood bar on North Lincoln Avenue here in Chicago.

Brooks’ talk, given at this year’s Aspen Ideas Festival, “World on Fire,” focused on a critical aspect of this trend.

Most of us can readily accept technology and a worldwide pandemic as contributing factors in the loneliness epidemic but scratch our heads when it comes to recognizing why authoritarianism has become so prevalent globally.

The Aspen Institute is a nonprofit, “committed to realizing a free, just and equitable society,”  by promoting “conversations that matter.”

Brooks pointed out that the craziness of MAGA type populism and all the “us versus them“ variations that are on the rise are not unique to the US.

He used the term, spiritual recession. Instead of being a framework for solving, or at least, acting on, shared problems, political affiliations have been sought to fill a hole in people’s souls, a purpose it was never meant to have.

People, Brooks suggests, often look to politics so they can feel good about themselves and shame others. Party affiliations have become about “affirmation” and ”retribution.”

This is never going to fill the yearning for moral coherence, for sharing beliefs in what’s right and wrong with others and aligning with something bigger than yourself.

Brooks cites John Bowlby, British child psychologist famous for his “theory of attachment,” fundamental in child development. Bowlby said, “All of life is a series of daring explorations from a secure base.”

I thought about this while I was taking a walk in my neighborhood and paused for a long time in front of garden and fence around a home.

It seemed that the four foot high black iron fence represented the perfect boundary. It was open enough for the plants it contained to reach out and show off their natural colors and beauty, all the while protecting them from cars and critters.

Psychologists and educators might have models for how individuals and societies might flourish. I have a simple understanding of basic human nature.

I believe all people want to belong to something bigger than themselves and that most people act according to their own moral code. Much of what a person considers right or wrong comes from family or school or religion, but there are other sources and influences.

If a kid sees his father not speak up when being under-charged because the father believes the business owner “charges enough,” the child may or may not accept the behavior as exemplary. Beliefs cannot be assumed to be generational. At some point, I believe, a person has to take accountability for his own beliefs and actions.

To want to belong is HUMAN. To look for new institutions that provide moral coherence is critical. States and countries and religions provided a grounding framework that supported “daring exploration,” for years, as they made many feel safe, but they have also perpetuated intolerance and left little room for diversity and inclusion.

We’ve been like children, as individuals, as nations, as political party members. We think mostly about ourselves. It’s time to grow up. Yes, we should challenge ourselves to do our personal best, but also to honor our interdependence.

We live in a world, on a planet, where we have to learn how to share resources and how to invite the contributions of all.

I’d like to see everyone looking more at what we have in common and what is for the good of most people.

I’m grateful when someone steps forward with ideas, not just statistics, when people look for what they share rather than where they are different, when neighbors listen to each other.

Welcoming and participating in conversation is no small thing.