This past weekend, I went to Greenville, South Carolina. The state, which, only recently, took the Confederate flag down from its capitol dome, was not on any bucket list of dream destinations or tagged for any work related junket.

A few years ago, my eldest niece came to town with her boyfriend and dog (and his two dogs) and made a home. Or, maybe I should say, made a household together. Making a home was part of this week’s celebration.

Liz and Jonathan got jobs, got engaged, found a house, got married then moved into their new home — in pretty much that order. They met a few years ago in Knoxville where my niece attended grad school.

They thought about staging a bigger wedding right after trading in their Tennessee license plates for riding behind the South Carolina’s motto, While I breathe, I hope until Liz, not wanting wedding planning to take over their lives, cut those plans short.

After a few years of renting (not easy to do with 3 dogs), they decided to buy a house. They eloped after the real estate deal was struck and before the closing.

Maybe influenced by friends and family, feeling deprived of a formal event to mark the milestone, they decided to host a celebration over this weekend – a sort of housewarming/getting hitched party. Suiting their personalities, this party was a very CHILL affair.

Friends and family (mostly from Liz’s side as the couple plans to visit his family in Tennessee over the Fourth) came in from Chicago, New York and DC.

They helped coordinate airport transportation and made hotel recommendations. They even offered space (and blow-up mattresses) for a few guests in their new 5-bedroom house.

The saying certainly rang true over these June days…If you fill up your ice chests, they will come.

The clan gathered.

One of Liz’s cousins (by marriage) on her father’s side is a professional chef. He spoiled all of us over the weekend with his culinary skills and his ability to create an easeful environment.

He traveled with his own knives and a magic boom box, which was always ON. Its endless play list had us entertained and in the moment all weekend.

My sister Barb, the Confection Queen, made the components of a tiered chocolate cake and took on the task of driving all the pieces out from Elmhurst, Illinois for final assembly in Liz and Jonathan’s new kitchen.

My family is small. Liz’ s father’s family is large. For the weekend, I felt like part of their extended family.

I thought about any CLAN convening, occasions when family members, now often scattered around the country, would gather in one place.

A year ago, they got together for matriarch Anne’s 90^th birthday; brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins – lots of cousins.

They gather for weddings and funerals – when they officially add one more name on their roster or have to say goodbye to a loved one.

But attending these gatherings are about more than addition or subtraction.

My sister Rona, Liz’s mom, who we lost to cancer 15 years ago, had an appreciative but ironic take on her adopted family’s coming together ritual.

Shortly before the clan gathered for her own memorial, she remarked, “They do funerals really well. They SHOW UP.”

Witnessing Liz’s other aunts help in the kitchen and the story-swapping that took place between childhood and college friends, former neighbors from Tennessee and new friends from her and Jonathan’s new home state, I felt how much those gathered wanted to SHOW UP for this weekend.

(I know Liz’s mother would have loved hanging out with us.)

Being able to celebrate an occasion with people who’ve seen you at your BEST and at your WORST is no small thing.