As I was walking in my neighborhood, it felt like I was walking through a tunnel, a mostly green tunnel. Leafy tree branches extended over the sidewalk, forming a low ceiling. To my right, there were parked cars. To my left, flowers blossomed in small patches of grass in front yards of brick bungalows.

Next to early blooms like snapdragons and tulips were “Hate Has No Home Here” signs and on walkways leading up to residences, there were flowers and mottos drawn in pastel shades of chalk, reminding passersby, “We’re all in this together.”

TV news and podcasts were buzzing with information about phased openings.  Every state, even regions within states, seems to have their own schedule for relaxing restrictions on gathering sizes and in-person commerce.

Many people have promoted the importance of opening businesses up for the sake of local economies. Some people are just antsy for business to open because they have a low tolerance for being with themselves, for living without their usual distractions.

As I walk through the green tunnel, I consider that I would like to enjoy social freedoms again, but I am cautious. I want to go slowly.

Although statistics have shown improvements in key categories related to the spread of COVID-19, I have felt closer to the effects of the disease than ever.

Two people I know well have been diagnosed and are dealing with symptoms in their home. A close friend reported the death of someone who worked for her parents. She broke into tears when she shared the news. He was only fifty-six.

I have been sickened by how the debate over “opening up” has spurred violence among people. I was especially upset that security guards have been harassed, in some cases shot, just for doing their jobs, for politely requesting people wear masks in stores.

In my view, whether or not you believe in the level of threat posed by an invisible, easily spread virus, it’s still a simple enough gesture of respect to neighbors who would prefer masks be worn in public to comply with the rule.

Despite history showing “agreeing to disagree’ is often an effective strategy for handling differences, in this atmosphere of grievance politics and finger-pointing, reasonableness has been thrown out the window.

Taking a walk, in the green tunnel, after inviting the handyman in to assess small household projects, but not in a rush to get my hair or nails done, I felt called to examine the term “opening up.”

After learning a new skill, it seems that applying that skill gradually is the best approach.  When I first learned how to drive, I remember cruising to my high school parking lot or going on small shopping excursions for months before I attempted merging, and avoiding speeding semis, on the highway.

When it comes to incorporating a new exercise or in my fitness routine, I have learned (the hard way), not to attempt too much all at once.  If I think I’d benefit from doing fifty crunches but don’t build towards this goal by getting comfortable doing twenty or thirty first, I know the discipline won’t take.

And relationships…especially if you’ve been hurt or disappointed before, one opens up slowly.  Lasting bonds require trust, which usually forms in steps. First you learn about someone, their likes and dislikes, their values, their views of personal victories and regrets.

Then, over time, you can assess their trustworthiness. Do they keep their promises? Do they respond to things you tell them are important to you?

You share more. You express your hopes and fears. You become vulnerable. You decide when revealing more is worth what you want to receive (and what they’re capable of giving). At every stage, you evaluate risks and rewards.

With each step, you see evidence that greater levels of trust are merited. Only then can you completely open up. It’s not something to be done cavalierly. It’s not about fast or slow, but slow is usually better.

Giving yourself to another soul, to a calling, to a cause, or to change needs to be done deliberately. With awareness of everything involved.

Opening up slowly — mindfully — is no small thing.